Monthly Archives: February 2014

The Dog Saga continues and Teenage hood Begins • 6 Comments

Kristi Burden • 28 February, 2014

Dear Hallie,

Tomorrow is your 13th birthday. I have a million things I want to say to you. I could tell you the story of how you put yourself in time out when you were three and told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed to talk to you while you were self-disciplining. Oh there are stories. I could rattle off my hopes for your future. But I'll spare you those tales and wishes because the events leading up to your thirteenth birthday are worth being recorded.

You've been wanting a dog since last Fall, if not long before then. You're an animal lover, if not part animal. Still, getting you a dog had not been a part of our plans.
One week before your birthday, I asked you to get out of bed (around noon) and to do something stimulating (besides washing your hair), something that would better your life or the life of someone else. You wrote me a witty, charming and convincing text explaining that getting a dog would provide just the stimulating opportunity you needed.

Your dad originally was't having it. I, however, was "ON IT"! I began to look at the Humane society website for pictures of a possible pet. Several cuties didn't work out and being approved to adopt a dog was a pretty serious process. I'm pretty sure we could have adopted you a baby brother just as easily. But going through the frustrating process revealed some good stuff.

1. We found out Griffin has a mild case of heartworms. Had we not tried to adopt a dog, Griffin would have gotten more and more sick without our knowing. Getting the bad news is the first step in solving problems. You can only mend what you know is torn.

I also found out that you're supposed to give your dog medicine EVERY MONTH to prevent them from getting heartworms. Who knew? (Apparently everybody but us). Boy I felt like a dummy. But here's the deal. You'll have more occasions than you want where you'll figure out you messed up, sometimes royally. Wallowing in dumminess does nothing to better the situation. Educate yourself. Learn from your mistakes. You'll be better because of it. And you'll serve people better by your learning from errors.

2. Several times I saw a dog I thought "was the one" on the shelter website. You almost got a dog named Mallie; a couple of the dogs I had my heart set on weren't available. Some times when things don't work out?..... They really do. Remember this every day of your life.

3. I relearned the importance of patience. I didn't say that I like being patient or that I'm good at it, I said that patience is important and sometimes the only option, besides freaking out (which, by the way, is never a good option).

4. I was faced with a test of my integrity. I had the chance to lie to the people at the shelter so that we could for sure get the dog. Everything else had checked out and all I had to do was give them one little dishonest answer when they asked a question about Griffin. I had to silently pray repeatedly something like "Please don't lie, please don't lie..." while I talked to the people at the shelter because I have a creative mind (which is a nice way of saying untruths at times pop in my head and find their way to my mouth conveniently and quite naturally). Sometimes being dishonest to ensure you get what you want is SO tempting. Integrity is always the right choice.

5. Dogs are fur real friends. The minute I met your little dog we were instant and forever friends. I think about the trouble we go through with our people friends and the people we think are our friends. I'm glad to have them but it's nice to hang with a canine girl who may not "get it" but just loves you like the dickens. The handful of girls in this world with whom you find friendship is easy and real, be thankful!

6. The whole "To give is better than to receive" thing? That's legit! I've been more excited about this gift than ANY gift I remember receiving. Be giving and trust that God will put you on the receiving end more than you'll deserve. Let Him be concerned with your "getting".

I hope this is a birthday that will go down in history as one where you felt love and experienced laughter and one which made you look forward to rest of this thing called life.

I love you much,
Mom

Wanted: Stimulating Activity…AND A PUPPY • 1 Comment

Kristi Burden • 22 February, 2014

The past few days have felt like Spring. And though I never feel like Spring cleaning, there's a fresh feeling in the air that makes me want to do something. So I cleaned the kitchen; like I mean I cleaned 100% of the counters with mild cleaner and then I shined its top instead of doing the 60% countertop swipe. I cleaned the laundry room too and helped about forty socks find their match. To the kids' dismay, around noon, I urged them to do something stimulating.

"Do something to better yourself or do something for somebody else," I orated.

Hallie said she'd take a shower later, but I told her that didn't count.

Her 13^th birthday is in exactly one week. I think she's using the birthday thing as an opportunity to seize whatever gifts and privileges she can, while she can. Who can blame her?

Jason and I ran to the store to pick up some S'more fixings (hotdogs cooked on clothes hangers and S'mores will be our afternoon stimulating activity). Here's the text I got from Hallie just as we pulled in the driveway.

Well……I asked for it.

Dear mommy,

I've been thinking about what I want for my birthday, (notice I am using correct grammar so I must really want this) and there is only one thing I truly desire. It is not the latest smart phone, not a tablet, it is a puppy. When you said "you should do something stimulating today" I thought, why not give an animal in need a home? I think we should adopt a dog in need from the humane society. It will also help me learn:

A: responsibility

B: socail skills (which I am in desprate need for) and

C: that you two are the greatest parents on earth.

When consulting dad on this matter remind him, that I am using an astronomical varity of vocabulary so I am smart enough and, I am his little girl still. By the way, might I remind you that you and dad both had many dogs, and turned out to be great adults. I did a little research and, Hitler did not have a dog, coincidince? I think not. I have been putting much effort in to griffin now and I think it is time for me to have another dog.

Sincierly,

Hallie

p.s roses are red

violets are blue

I want a dog,

mom does too.

The World Needs People Living an Alternative Lifestyle (like David Wise) • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 21 February, 2014

I was talking to my mom on the phone just yesterday. She abruptly asked me if I'd been keeping up with David Wise, to which I replied, "Who?".

Apparently he's an American freestyle skier who's living an "alternative lifestyle". I looked him up. He's won the gold. So now curious people like myself want to dig in his trash and creep his Facebook. Winning the gold, being in the spotlight, makes everybody want to know who you are.

Well David Wise and his lifestyle (which is being referred to as alternative) is the conservative hot topic of the past couple of days. I probably don't need to tell you that I read conservative news sites to find out what's going on in the world. I'm a FOX News enthusiast. I wish I could tell it like Megyn Kelly. Besides FOX, I almost always agree with the viewpoints on conservative sites.

I'm an "up in arms kind" of girl. I believe passionately and I hold my values dear. When I feel those values (which were once the American norm) are attacked, I get a little excited. Lie. I get a lot excited. Jason grounded me from the news once because he got tired of me yelling at the TV.

That's why I'm a little rattled at the litany of angry responses to NBC's article titled "David Wise's alternative lifestyle leads to Olympic gold". Many are angry that his lifestyle is being referred to as alternative. Upon reading what his alternative lifestyle is, you'll find that he's 23 years old, with a wife and a two-year-old. He's also a devout Christian. Alternative really just means "not a usual choice". Anybody paying any attention these days knows that a Christian-focused lifestyle is getting more and more unusual.

If I'm guessing correctly, I'd say as practicing Christians, it makes us pretty nervous to think that we just might be becoming a minority. I'd like to say simply that I'm broken for those deciding to live lifestyles contrary to Christ. That knowledge has its effect. If I were honest though, I'd say that it makes me fearful to see that there are less and less Americans standing by my side. Like a game of Red Rover, I want to be on the side where more people are lined up.

David Wise is on the side with the shorter line.

NBC is calling it like it is on this one.

Here's the NBC link http://www.nbcolympics.com/wrc/news/david-wises-alternative-lifestyle-leads-olympic-gold

Christians have always been at odds with the world. I think we're called to be unusual. There's nothing offensive about that. Though the term alternative seems ill-fitting, it's a term I think we're going to have to live with. Growing up sheltered, I believed in a Christianity that was popular and mainstream. It's a safe and pleasant idea.

We're the David in the Bible. We face a Goliath; namely a world who thinks our lifestyle is pointless, odd and even malicious. The difference is, THIS giant beckons Christians to its side convincing us that we can both be Christians and of the world. In a worldly sense, the right end of the tug-of-war rope is seeming to have less weight and less weight. But we have to remember. It's not weight or size that will determine who wins the battle.

David Wise's alternative lifestyle leads to Olympic gold.

He's unusual; a real weirdo. He's a young Christian guy that's happily married with a kid already…..at 23! Maybe more than his ski moves, his out-of-the-ordinary lifestyle is the very thing that people are paying attention to. He made clear that the gold is not "the big deal" in his life. We have to be willing, in obedience, to make people ask the question, "What. Are they doing?!" It may be the very thing this world just might take notice of.

Acceptance for the Christian weirdo is slipping. That usually has me up in arms. Today I've just got my arms up. Victory is in the bag.

…..even though you have to put up with every aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure…..when Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory 1 Peter 1:6-7

Be alternative. It's worth it.

Help a Sister (or brother) Out • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 19 February, 2014

Jason told me I would end up writing a post about this. Life happens. I think of some lesson that applies. And then I spill it; shamelessly (and with pictures whenever possible).

Sharing is caring.

Rylie, our eight year old, went roller skating for the first time Saturday. It was a pleasant experience for the first two hours. She was stylin' with a red-blinking pacifier necklace when she got home. She was also stylin' a knot (the size of a Red Delicious) on her right ankle. The past few days have been a bit cuckoo. We've spent four days repeating the familiar acronym R.I.C.E (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation). When she wasn't on the couch, her ace-bandaged leg flailed about precariously as she made her way through narrow doorways and as her crutches stutter-stepped on the pavement. I sustained my own injury trying to help her down the stairs on Monday. Despite all attention and caution, Rylie had a nasty-looking ankle and we were sent to an orthopedic doctor.

Oh brother.

We could hear the doctor in the hallway while we waited for him in a room that suggested that this guy is a little golf-crazy. I'm still wondering how he has enough autographed pictures to cover four walls. His voice was jovial and familiar. Rylie commented that he reminded her of somebody, though a wall still stood between us. Dr. Hall walked in and introduced himself to Jason and I and then turned to Rylie.

"You're trouble………I can tell," he pointed at her.

He poked fun (appearing to enjoy his taunting even more than golf). He checked her foot, explaining that it was the worst sprain he'd ever seen, then proceeded to share his plan. He asked if we had any questions.

I acted my normal nervous self in new situations and stammered something awful. I started to ask a question, stopped, and then started with a different question…..several times.

"You going to get one of those questions out,??" he interrupted.

My brother....

That's who he reminded me of, I decided. Loud. (Sorry if you're reading this David) Rude. Hilarious (if you're a good sport).......

And comfortable.

He was like my brother. And from what I know about Hayden, and most of the brothers I've watched interact with younger siblings, he was like any brother. I was able to finish my list of questions with ease, sure that I'd get razzed for the questions on my "mom list", but certain that he'd answer too. And he did.

Rylie's now sportin' a hot pink cast, for which I'm thankful.

The doctor came in once more to make sure we felt comfortable with everything. As he warned Rylie not to stick ANYTHING in her cast, I shared that she'd probably learned that lesson from one other time in the ER when she'd stuck a rock up her nose. He told how he'd been a hero to his own little brother one time with a similar incident. Unlike his panicking mom, he'd kept his cool and placed a finger on his brother's nostril closing it off. He instructed his brother to blow, helping him shoot a peanut out of his nose where it'd been lodged.

Our doctor visit today made me think about the value of behaving like brothers…..and sisters in any and every situation.

As brothers and sisters we have a responsibility. It's not merely an asset to whatever job we have. It is the job.

Treat those in need as you would a friend. Be familiar. Associate with them. Give them the time of day. Familiar must surely come from the word family.

Be yourself, assuming that "yourself" is someone pleasant. Be not only professional, be relatable.

"People will forget what you say (or how you helped fix their problem), but they won't forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou (minus the parenthesis)

Be a hero. Be genuinely concerned; not just about the problem at hand. Care about the person. There are people you encounter, friends and strangers facing battles of all shapes and sizes. Not all people announce their business like I do. But you can be assured that they need a brother. They need a sister.

There's a world in need. You were born for this!

…….a brother is born for adversity Proverbs 17:17

P.S. Already found a perk to this casted-ankle mess. I only have to find one clean sock every morning.

Love in a Taco Box; When Love Looks Different • 4 Comments

Kristi Burden • 13 February, 2014

Love is not a feeling, it's an ability.

-Marty Dan in Real Life

I've been gearing up for Valentine's Day. My preparation has consisted of predetermining where I want to eat for mine and Jason's meal date, making a mental note to wear my red necklace (fitting for the occasion) and forcing myself down the greeting card aisle at CVS; a place where my claustrophobic tendencies come out. It's hard to find a card "when you want to send the very best".

I've also been dreading having to make Rylie's card box for her valentines. I waited until the last-minute again. She decided that the box that our twelve pack of tacos came in last night would be perfect. She'll be tickled pink with her taco-scented valentines post party time.

Valentine's Day, the celebrated Day of Love, is the time when we get "all up in our feelings".

Honestly, my feelings on Valentine's Day and my feelings in general aren't always cause for celebration. My feelings are a fickle ebb and flow. They can't be trusted. My feelings are thwarted by my moods, rude people, crowded shopping centers (with rude people) and long red lights (which make me fall into the rude people category).

We base love on our feelings.

But here's the thing….

Love is an ability. Love is an ability that acts in union with our emotions when we're feeling generous or amorous. And even when we're "not feeling it" (which is more often the case), love is an ability to act accordingly in spite of our emotions.

Remember these tips on Valentine's Day (February 14) and the other 364 LOVE days in a year.

Love is patient. Remember that when you're trying cover a taco box with wrapping paper while you're aided by an eight year old. Love doesn't urge "Move it, move it". Love isn't a rigid clock-watcher.
Love is kind. Love seeks out the poor in spirit and shares what it has. Love passes up the better parking spot with the thought that somebody might need it. It gives without thought of what it will receive in return.
Love is not boastful or jealous or proud. Love has no need to be better than anybody else. It has no need to make the next person seem less in order to puff itself up.
Or rude. It does not demand its own way. It doesn't stamp its foot. (It probably doesn't give its husband a list of three choices of where it would like to eat for lunch…in order of preference) It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. Love isn't a cold-blooded creature whose testy temperature changes according to its surroundings. Love isn't wrecked by attitude. Love, in anger, doesn't say things like, "You always…" or "You never"…. (#4 was long, huh.)
It does not rejoice in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Love doesn't celebrate when its enemy gets what they had coming.
Love never gives up, never loses faith. Is always hopeful through every circumstance. Love's mantra is hope-when it's alone….or despair is knocking at its door……or when its feelings lie. Because love lasts 365 days a year; outlasting the "yuck" (sadness/lonliness/failings/sin) of life. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is not a feeling. It's an ability; one given to us from the very author of love.

Love comes in different packages, including a taco box. The substance to that love is what matters.

They will know we are Christians by our love.

Love some bodies today (and 364 other days).

A Thursday for Your Thoughts; by Jaime Turner • 1 Comment

Kristi Burden • 13 February, 2014

A Guest Blog

by Jaime Turner

Eyes Wide Open

One moment in July of 2004 will forever be seared in my mind. My firstborn son and I were in a head on collision a half mile from our home.

I can still see it in slow motion and was helpless to stop what was happening before my eyes.

I can still hear the sounds of my screaming baby as the other car slammed into ours.

I can still remember the eerie silence for the few moments after the impact when everything seemed to stand still.

I can still smell the smells. No one talks about them, but there is a distinct smell when all of your airbags deploy. I remember just screaming, “Jesus help!” in that flash of a moment.

What I will never forget, though, is the face that appeared at my driver’s window.

Almost immediately there was a man standing there. I could not get out of my door and was telling him to please help my baby. He told me to crawl through the other side. There were others who arrived and helped.

They got Elijah out of his car seat and showed this wreck-of-a-mother that he did not even have a scratch on him. One lady held him the whole time and comforted him. I am so grateful to her because I could not. The man, though, never left my side.

I still see his face, wrinkled and kind

I still see his clothes, tattered and dirty

I still see his hair, long and free

I still hear him, telling me that we were going to be okay—that he wasn’t leaving me.

He was standing in the middle of the road with me and then proceeded to tell me I needed to sit down. He sat me down in the car and that’s when I discovered my knee was cut wide open. How I was standing I have no idea. He tended to me until the firemen got there telling me all the while that he would not leave me.

The firemen did not expect to find us alive because of the calls they were getting. Fortunately, when they arrived, they were able to cancel LifeFlight.

I watched the long-haired man slowly walk away and down the road after that. Once my husband arrived at the scene he never saw him.

In the area we lived, there were lots of homeless people down the street from us. We would often stop and help when we could. I was certain he was one of those men, and I just wanted to find him and thank him for the way he helped me that day. I looked for him for months, but I never saw him again.

One day, my husband looked at me and said, “Did it ever occur to you that maybe God sent an angel for you just at that moment?” Until then, honestly it had not.

What I have learned since then is that Jesus doesn’t always look the way we think He might look.

He may show himself to us in the simple smile of a stranger on a rough day.

He may show himself to us in the kindness of a friend or neighbor.

He may show himself to us in the hug of a child.

He may show himself to us in the soft breeze that blows.

He may show himself to us in the helping hand of someone we may never see again.

I don’t want to miss him again. I want my eyes to be wide open to see Jesus, no matter where I am.

Get your love on by reading a Valentine's post "Love in a Taco Box; When Love Looks Different" http://kristiburden.com/?p=7144

To read more guest blogs, click on the link "A Thursday for Your Thoughts" under categories on the menu on the right.

If you feel compelled to share your story consider sharing it on "A Thursday for Your Thoughts". It's an opportunity to encourage and be encouraged; to connect with people who can relate. If you have questions send me an email.

Sharing is caring.

kristiburden@gmail.com

The Way to Most Likely Succeed • 5 Comments

Kristi Burden • 11 February, 2014

My Spanish teacher in high school posed a question for discussion one day. He said, "Who do you think will be the most successful person in your class?". My defenses perked up knowing that I wouldn't be named. My grades were fine in high school, but I didn't have the drive to be the first female president or the next Jane Goodall, and my teachers and classmates knew it. I remember another teacher remarking at one point that I would probably just get married and have babies.

The "who will be the most successful" question was posed to a small group of us in Spanish class. Feeling comfortable to pipe in because it was a small group, I cut off anyone before they could name the one in our grade with the "wow factor": good grades, good hair, nice clothes and a long list of clubs they were in (Science Club, Student Council, blah blah blah). I spoke up, "It depends on what your idea of success is".

That's all I remember about the discussion that day. I don't remember who ended up being named as victor of the future or how my teacher responded. I only remember being struck by my own words, wondering where they came from. Everybody knows that success is measured by the size of the impact you make in the world.......Or is that success?

Is impact even measurable?

We humans don't measure well. We measure success erroneously, forgetful of what it really is. The Oxford dictionary says that success is "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose". Not everybody's aim is, or should be the same. The world's voice in my head speaks loud and clear that the aim of life is acquiring power and riches and lots of things. Too often I make those things my aim, but I know better. My "Junior-in-high-school self" knew better. But I sometimes choose the world's view of success. Because I'm fooled into believing it will make me happy. And I falsely believe it wins the approval of people. Neither are true.

Success is the accomplishment of a purpose. What we have to remember as believers is that our purposes are not (naturally) God's purposes. As followers of The Way, we're to look to God for purpose. Sometimes that purpose won't gain us a smaller waistline, a bigger car or Facebook likes, but living for His purposes is always worth it.

I can't help but think of Jonah. God gave him a purpose which he fought tooth and nail against. As one of the non-examples of the Bible, he reluctantly goes to Ninevah where he announces God's judgement upon the people. To his dismay, they listened. They repented. And God had mercy on the people (contrary to Jonah's aim). "Just kill me now, LORD! I'd rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen."

As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself not only wondering what God is purposing, but disagreeing with it. I'm Jonah; the felt character in flannel graph stories who first ignores and then fights against what God purposes; the non-example to my children and a non-example to the lost who need to see a story of God acting through those who trust him. Jonah's story (the part we know) is finished with him pouting on the side of the hill.

Didn't Jonah know that he had gained success? Couldn't he see that true purpose was accomplished as a people turned their eyes to God through the message that he delivered? Obedience IS success. But beyond that, God does something beautiful with our submission. We can count on it.

Our purpose is so very hard to see, because we're so determined to do what we want to do; what we THINK we're supposed to do. Strive. Be like her. Do more. Be more.

Don't ignore the purposes God has for you.

Don't begrudge God's aim for your life because it holds little glamour, or because it's uncomfortable. He may be calling you to quit some of your activities and JUST focus on your children. He may ask you to get out of your comfort zone and speak out about something he's given you a passion for, or to do something that scares you senseless. Some days the aim he has for you may simply be to keep your cool in traffic. He may want you to visit your neighbor.

Success isn't always sensational.

Success can be small-scale.

Stop fleeing the purpose that God has set before you because it may not be what you had your sights set on. The things God has in store for our life are always better than the plans we have for ourselves.

Your success isn't found in dreaming and acquiring; climbing the world's ladder. Pray for rescue from the belly of the worldy whale; that place that holds us captive. Quit running in the wrong direction. No moping when you feel life isn't going the way you planned.

Jonah in a fine moment uttered the words that we all need to hear-

Those who worship false gods

{and chase after the winds}

turn their backs on all God's mercies.

But I will offer sacrifices

{giving up the things I once held dear}

(I will offer sacrifices) to you with songs of praise,

And I will fulfill all my vows.

For my salvation

{Life's ultimate success)

comes from the Lord alone.

Jonah 2:8,9 {emphasis mine}

Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalm 37:5

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

In all this, you, will be most likely to succeed.

Music is a Window to the Soul; Sometimes a Window that Needs to be Closed • 6 Comments

Kristi Burden • 7 February, 2014

My mom was pretty gentle in my growing up. Except for the time I received an explicit love letter from a boy I'd met at a track meet who appeared (in the letter) to be as fast in relationships as he could run the hundred meter dash. I'd only met him once. The funny and interesting eighth grader with an orange stripe in his hair asked for my address, so I gave it to him. My mom set that letter on fire letting its ashes fall into the garbage. And that was that.

Then there was the time my mom trashed my sibling's Def Leppard and Motley Crue cassette tapes. Tapes cost money unlike the free music kids can get their hands on today. I'd jammed with my sister plenty of times to "Photograph" and "Animal" on our way to school. I could sing the chorus, but I really had little clue what most of the words said, or what they meant. My mom knew though, and her ire was profound.

She drew a line in the sand where there was none before. I was forced to realize that there is more to music than a jaunty beat. I began to realize that words and insinuations in songs have more impact than we give credit.

I'm a music lover.

I listen to music of all kinds. Pandora is a dream come true. The idea that I can listen to all the artists I want, the fact that I can switch to the genre that reflects my mood,... is grand. I have house-cleaning music and music that I play when I'm feeling sappy. Music nurtures emotions.

"Eyes are a window to the soul," someone said. It's also been said that, "Music is a window to the soul".

Getting to my heart's need to write today, I think that much music in its present audio and visual form is a window I'd like to close.

The lyrics have gotten downright vulgar. But in case you're a naïve kid like I was, you needn't look far for music videos and performances that will spell all things out for you just in case you missed it in words.

I've already written my thoughts on Miley Cyrus. I was disgusted at her sexual performance with Robin Thicke at the VMA's. I'm probably with thousands of others who were sickened by Beyonce and Jay Z's lewd act at the Grammys. She's wearing a get-up that nobody has any business seeing but Jay Z. Yeah they're married, but is anything sacred or private anymore?

Now I read that Rihanna and Shakira (two female stars) are making a video where according to "The Guardian," the duo sings "I'd do anything for that boy" while "touching each other's naked skin".

I didn't watch the VMA's or the Grammys so I'm hearing about this on Facebook and other media, but raunchy clips were shown on the morning news while my eight year old sat in front of the TV. Clips fill my newsfeed on Facebook too. Even when we make it a point not to watch it, it's there….in our faces. The part that alarms me though, is that it's in our kids' faces. Sexuality is not only sung about, but it's acted out right before their very eyes. Do you know what that's called?

It's called pornography.

Pornography- (according to Merriam) is the depiction of erotic behavior intended to cause sexual excitement

I know pornography has existed, but today it has become more-

Accessible- on iphones and the internet. Kids can watch this trash and delete their history if they know it's something they shouldn't be watching. It's on TV too, prime time. It's too easy to be able to watch sensual material these days.
It's becoming more and more acceptable. Miley and Beyonce, Rihanna? These are big names. Their songs are played by school bands and Kid's Bop. I've been guilty of playing their songs myself. These are talented ladies. They're familiar. So familiar, that the lines are blurred so that knowing when they stepped too far, often becomes unintelligible.

I'm there though. Like my mom who knew when and where to draw a hard line, I'm calling this new music what it is. Much of it is pornography. It's garbage. I'm going to talk with my kids about it. I'm going to pray about. If need be I'll be labeled a right-wing nut for having the audacity to dare say that this is beyond ok.

Enough is enough. We're past enough.

See the sensible response to this post and my friend's new blog (Paul Baker). http://pmbaker.com/keep-them-safe/

Out of Line Kids and Refrigerator Drawers

Kristi Burden • 4 February, 2014

I hit a familiar roadblock this morning fixing Rylie's lunch; a stubborn drawer. I gently tapped the fridge's produce bin with my foot expecting it to close. It usually does. But every now and then my foot meets resistance; this morning was one of those times. I did what I expect most people do when meeting such resistance. I used a little more force; I pushed harder. But the drawer stayed locked in wrong position dangling out from the tracks.

Sometimes using more force works. The drawer slides back into position. But it was clear to me this morning that no amount of foot shoving was going to get that drawer back in place. Unless of course I shoved so hard that the drawer goes back, but with shards of plastic breaking, the drawer's edges snapped into pieces.

I've broken objects before with my brute force. This morning I considered using such force, but then I thought better. I paused and took a deep breath. I got down on my knees and investigated the root of the "drawer not closing" problem. I simply had to reposition a package of grilled chicken fajitas so that they weren't busting outside the allowed drawer borders. And the drawer closed. Thankfully, sometimes it's simple like that.

Being that parenting is one of my most important and toughest jobs, I find that most everything that happens both good and difficult turns my thoughts to my children. That stubborn drawer is no exception. Neither was my initial response to the dogged drawer.

Out of Line Kids and Refrigerator Drawers

There are times in the precious privilege of parenting that we are met with kids whose will reflects a heart malpositioned. (Not that my own heart doesn't get off track.) And so very often we match their wills with a persistent ill-will of our own. In my experience, the battle of wills often ends up in double loss.

If we want our kids to simply obey, then the strong-arm is the necessary approach. And many times the strong-arm is needed. But there are times when what we want with our kids is not only a change in cooperation, but a change in heart. And it's those times that we need to stand before that out-of-place drawer and pause. The approach to getting an open drawer back on its track is much like our attempt to get an out of line heart back in its right place.

A gentle nudge never hurt a drawer and it doesn't hurt our kids either. But excessive force often ends up in broken pieces that are hard or impossible to put back together. The drawer is still usable missing some pieces (I know from experience), but a drawer is better whole. Avoid preventable damage. Know when using force just isn't working. Know when to stop using brute force.
Choose your battles. I know my dad didn't come up with this advice, but it's one of the things I hear from him over and over when I've went to him for counsel. Some drawers you can walk away from until you have your wits about you. Refrigerator doors can't be walked away from for too long, because letting the cool out costs. Know which stubborn drawers (and conflicts) to walk away from. And know which problems must be addressed. Knowing the difference is a matter of constant prayer.
Upon examination I've sometimes found that the drawer has too much stuff in it. It won't close right simply because stuff that doesn't need to be in there is overcrowding the drawer space. Rylie eats individualized cartons of cubed chicken for her lunch. These little cartons come in a big package that takes up more room than necessary. I need to remove the excessive packaging to make more room.
I know without a doubt that there are things that need to be removed or reduced from the schedule that takes up the day's space. Too much TV is one thing that comes to mind. TV uses space that could better be used relating to each other. If I looked, besides excessive packaging in the drawer, I'd probably find spoiled cheese and other items that just don't need to be in there. Some of the music I myself listen to and some of the music and television programs I catch my kids watching are not conducive to right living. I'm sure of it. It might be worth taking an inventory of what's filling our kid's time space. It might be worth removing excess and things of an adverse nature.
When my refrigerator drawer won't go back in place like it's supposed to, there's one thing that is more effective than a gentle nudge, brute force or a clean-up on aisle nine. From a standing position, it's almost impossible to know what the problem is. Standing upright is not the place to fix it. So I get on my knees. And that's where that refrigerator door slides back where it was meant to be. Sometimes it slides back easily and sometimes there's a work ensued. Often times it's a slow process getting the drawer to where it needs to be (I'm thinking of times when I've had to clean the whole drawer out.). I prefer the quick fix, but the good fix is often one we wait for. With stubborn drawers and kids who often slip from the place they need to be, more than anything else we do,

We need to be on our knees.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Parenting is an important and beloved charged, but it's tough. Any other thoughts on this?

Stop and Smell the Roses-Grace Unexpected • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 1 February, 2014

When those are not the roses you ordered

I wasn't looking for roses today. Roses didn't show up at my door with one of those clear, long plastic forks that has a card wedged between the prongs that says something like "-With all my love". The roses came in the form of an impromptu date with my soon to be thirteen year old daughter.

She's supposed to be at Hot Hearts right now. I encouraged her and her seventeen year old brother to go because that's what six thousand-plus other local youth are doing today. That would be a good place to be. But my kids don't really like loud music and they really don't like crowds, so they're hanging out at home today.

My first sweet rose of the day came this morning in the midst of my sweating it out on the rowing machine at Exygon. I've been away for a week and my workout was quite the punishment. But as I rowed away, Brandi Carlisle booming in my earbuds, my phone rang. You're not supposed to answer the phone at the gym, but I did. It was Hallie and I needed to make sure the kids were safe on the home front.

"We haven't done our devotion yet," she reminded me. (She, Hayden and I have been doing devotion on the weekdays,……another rose).

I promised her that we'd do devotion when I got home. We had the best little discussion about the Holy Spirit being our advocate, one of my favorite ways for the Holy Spirit to be characterized. And then our independent, turning into a teenager in exactly one month daughter, agreed to go to the grocery store with me; something she seldom does. Ah, the roses.

It's been a beautiful day; one that we've all been able to enjoy each other, but the best surprise came around three o'clock when Hallie offered to let me take the pictures I've been asking to take of her for months. She's been asking for me to replace the several-year-old pictures hanging on the living room wall and the stairwell. And you see, I love taking pictures and she rather despises my taking her picture. The last two attempts have been ugly; not the pictures, but our interaction with each other. My trying to choose her pose and telling her to smile differently ends up in a battle that's best not captured.

Today was different.

I allowed for a little freedom. Here are a few of the pictures I took on an afternoon that will not be forgotten. I'm in awe of who she is without my prompting.