Monthly Archives: March 2014

This is my sister's cat. I don't even know the cat's name (some sister I am….). Her cat had some kind of injury a month or so ago that caused her to adorn "the cone of shame". When I visited back in Spring Break, my sister filled me in on the details right before she rushed off to the vet appointment, but I don't remember the specifics. (-Remember, the whole I hit my head thing?). I had even forgotten about the cat until Wednesday.

Oh Wednesday. It was a long day. By the end of it, I was hiding out. I'd told myself I just needed to settle down and not talk to anybody. Earlier in the day I'd said something unkind to someone; something out of character. I felt ashamed all day. I tried several things including trying to laugh it off and telling a friend, hoping they would convince me what I said wasn't that bad. But I knew that my words were both unnecessary and malicious and the fact that they weren't well thought-out only revealed the true nature of my heart.

My younger sister, Jennifer called Wednesday night just to chat. She told me a nightmare story about her misbehaving cat (who's still sportin' the cone of shame). You may think me a nut, but that cat visual was just what I needed. I made her promise to send me a picture of her feisty feline. Here it is. You're welcome.

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It pains me to think of any creature wearing a cone of shame (also referred to as a 'pet lampshade' which sounds no better). It's rather ridiculous-looking for one thing. With it there's no peripheral vision; so isolating. And it's so BINDING. I can imagine it would make you feel swallowed up in your circumstances. It's worn to protect the animal. I get that.

The crazy thing is, I feel sorry for Jennifer's little cat (I've got to find out her name) for having to wear a cone of shame. So why, please tell me, do I willingly volunteer to wear one myself every time I mess up? I speak unkindly. I behave selfishly.  And then I have my less-than-stellar mom moments. Then I allow my failings to orbit 'round me and think of little else.

It's necessary for me to recognize my wrong actions. It's also important to make things right with the people I've wronged Not to cause confusion, we shouldn't ignore conviction.  It's just that conviction should lead to repentance,  If shame sneaks in the middle, don't let it cling to you. Wearing shame is equally ridiculous to my friend with the lampshade. That poor cat has no choice, I however do have a choice- a choice that shouldn't be difficult to make. My bad decisions and shameful acts, however egregious, are no match for God's grace. His grace is more than enough to cover my sin.

The cone of shame I suspect most of us wear at some time, leads to more sin. Wearing it, we sometimes believe we're unlovable. We talk ourselves into thinking that what we did is unforgivable. Figuratively hiding out, we fail to be a blessing to others held back by the notion that we'll just mess up again. In the limited vision caused by the cone of shame, it's hard to see Jesus. Our guilt binds us and blinds us to the freedom found in grace.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

Certainly we need to grow in our recognition and practice of things not beneficial; bad behavior and the like. But living in your shame is not beneficial. We must learn not to be mastered by it.

We all do plenty of things to be ashamed of. We can't fix what we've already done. We can only fix our eyes on the one who urges

"Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share {MY} heart with you and make you wise (Prov. 1:23)

Afterall, the wisdom he lovingly offers is a garland of grace around our neck; a garland that reminds us we're loved. Wearing that garland makes us mindful of endless, matchless, grace. That knowledge produces gratitude. And it's with gratitude we strive to be better.

I'll take that over a cone of shame anytime.

This is my sister's cat. I don't even know the cat's name (some sister I am….). Her cat had some kind of injury a month or so ago that caused her to adorn "the cone of shame". When I visited back in Spring Break, my sister filled me in on the details right before she rushed off to the vet appointment, but I don't remember the specifics. (-Remember, the whole I hit my head thing?). I had even forgotten about the cat until Wednesday. Oh Wednesday. It was a long day. By the end of it, I was hiding out. I'd told myself I just needed to settle down and not talk to anybody. Earlier in the day I'd said something unkind to someone; something out of character. I felt ashamed all day. I tried several things including trying to laugh it off and telling a friend, hoping they would convince me what I said wasn't that bad. But I knew that my words were both unnecessary and malicious and the fact that they weren't well thought-out only revealed the true nature of my heart.

My younger sister, Jennifer called Wednesday night just to chat. She told me a nightmare story about her misbehaving cat (who's still sportin' the cone of shame). You may think me a nut, but that cat visual was just what I needed. I made her promise to send me a picture of her feisty feline. Here it is. You're welcome.

unnamed (43)

 

It pains me to think of any creature wearing a cone of shame (also referred to as a 'pet lampshade' which sounds no better). It's rather ridiculous-looking for one thing. With it there's no peripheral vision; so isolating. And it's so BINDING. I can imagine it would make you feel swallowed up in your circumstances. It's worn to protect the animal. I get that.

The crazy thing is, I feel sorry for Jennifer's little cat (I've got to find out her name) for having to wear a cone of shame when I willingly volunteer to wear one myself every time I mess up. I speak unkindly. I behave selfishly. It's necessary for me to recognize that. But to wallow in shame is equally ridiculous to my friend with the lampshade. That poor cat has no choice. I however do. A choice that shouldn't be difficult to make. My bad decisions and shameful acts, however egregious, are no match for God's grace. His grace is more than enough to cover my sin.

The cone of shame I suspect most of us wear at some time, leads to more sin. Wearing it, we sometimes believe we're unlovable. We talk ourselves into thinking that what we did is unforgivable. Figuratively hiding out, we fail to be a blessing to others held back by the notion that we'll just mess up again. In the limited vision caused by the cone of shame, it's hard to see Jesus.

Our guilt binds us and blinds us to the freedom found in grace.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything . 1 Corinthians 6:12

Certainly we need to grow in our recognition and practice of things not beneficial; bad behavior and the like. But living in your shame is not beneficial. We must learn not to be mastered by it.

We all do plenty of things to be ashamed of. We can't fix what we've already done. We can only fix our eyes on the one who urges

Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share {MY} heart with you and make you wise (Prov. 1:23)

Afterall, the wisdom he lovingly offers is a garland of grace around our neck; a garland that reminds us we're loved. Wearing that garland makes us mindful of endless, matchless, grace. That knowledge produces gratitude. And it's with gratitude we strive to be better.

I'll take that over a cone of shame anytime.

 

 

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My mishaps have been many lately.  So like I do, I've got to share them. I tell myself that calamities can be claimed for good if you can find a lesson in them. It's hard to figure how everything works into the meaning of life, or does everything?

In the past couple of days:

  • I've hit my head twice; once on a little knob in the washing machine (not sure why my head was in there that far), the other smack resulted from the backhatch/ door lift thing on the Armada, falling on my head. I'm wondering if the head-hitting episodes may have caused the rest of my "problems". Either way, I'm placing full blame on the  "injuries".
  • I bought a bag of cat food Friday, a big bag of cat food. ……..for our dogs. Ashlee, Hallie's new pup has since killed a bird. Wondering if this is a coincidence.
  • I spilled a Ziploc container of Orbeez (bouncy pea-sized gel beads). They're still covering the floor of our front closet. I'm waiting for them to go away.
  • I argued (nicely) with the employee and manager at a pizza joint in town about whether or not they had an online service to order pizza. Hayden and Hallie were there to pick up the pizza order. But they had no order for me. It took a genius, Hallie, to figure out that I had ordered from Domino's and that they were at Little Ceasar's. So everything turned out good.

There are other mindless mistakes and just plain annoying things that have happened which probably include forgetting birthdays, letting towels mildew in the wash and unintentionally insulting people when I speak too hastily.  I just can't remember because of the head thing.

This is just the way life goes. Sometimes things work out the way we want them to, sometimes things don't. Sometimes we make messes that are hard or impossible to clean up.  We get injured and we cause injury.  Life can't always be made into a three-step program to become a better person.  And not every occurrence can be given a positive spin. Well it can, but we're not always FEELIN' it! Sometimes my Pollyanna spin on life lands on "Lose a turn" or "Go back two spaces". But I'm still convinced. In the little crazies of life, and deeper in dark places we need to close our eyes and smile.

….we don't look at the troubles we can now see; rather we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

-2 Corinthians 4:18

In the end, it won't matter, or else it will be made right.

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Duty calls this morning. I just haven't answered yet; just like the phone call I declined this morning while I was getting the kids set for school. I just couldn't get my act together. I'm not the only one. The whole house is in rebellion. Everybody's bent out of shape, including the cupcake liners I enlisted for breakfast.

Our sleeping schedules and more importantly our hearts are still on break. We long to live our days in unbridled freedom, fed by fried food and Netflix.

We're all drowning in sorrow here. Just ask the liquidy chocolate chip muffins I made this morning that had twice as much milk in them as they're supposed to. Who messes up a "just add milk" recipe? A girl who's caught between upheaval and the frantic comprehension that break is over whether we like it or not. (A girl who doesn't know how to cook as well as one who often carelessly reads directions would also mess up a "just add milk" recipe….I'm just saying). However I suspect that it's my displeasure and the grief of this entire household that messed up the muffins. Breakfast was an edible representation of the world just not being right with Spring Break's ceasing.  It's as if soggy muffins fell from the cloud of gloom that lay overhead this morning. I'm finding I need some words to urge me on this Monday after Spring Break.

Here's what the Word has for me, for my kids, and for you if you're finding yourself (for whatever reason) lacking the strength or attitude to get about it today.

Take Heart
Take Heart

I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you". Psalm 32:8

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5;16-18

I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of your righteousness, of yours only. Psalm 71:16

It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. Psalm 18:32

This is a day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

No better nourishment than the word. It sure beats those Monday morning muffins. Well. Duty is calling again.  I think I'll answer now.

 

2 Comments

I grew up on a dirt road in the middle of Texas. I used to have a distaste for the dirt road because it was miles from town and because it caused flat tires with its jagged rocks (every time the road was grated). The dirt road causes you to slow down,..... such a bother. I see that road differently now. The dusty road leading to the house where I grew up still makes me sneeze something awful, but I've learned that the brown cloud of dust that envelopes the car as we drive down FM 1232 is rather enchanted. It transports me to a place where the clock works differently and where things other than my schedule matter.

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Things I can count on when I go back home

  1. Sunday dinner; ham with a healthy side-dish of arguing. Every once in a while we'll have roast, but we usually have ham and we ALWAYS have arguing. Home is where I learned that people who love each other don't always agree.  Disagreeing with people lovingly takes practice.  There's been plenty of that practice in the house I grew up in.unnamed (39)
  2. Hands rustling in the M&M jar – My mom has a huge glass container of M&Ms. Always. She even has micro candy bowls. When I say micro I mean small, but the bowls most always go into microwave too. We melt our M&Ms. I've written about this before. The way the whole "M&M melting thing" got started is a pretty special story. You should read about it here http://kristiburden.com/?p=1458.  I've thought before that it's quite miraculous, the feeding at my parent's house. There are always twenty plus people there. And we can eat a lot of M&Ms.  We eat everything else in the house too. This leads to the next thing I can always count on back home.
  3. A trip to Wal Mart. I never go back home without making a trip to Wal Mart to "get a few things". M&Ms and several gallons of milk are always on the list. This doesn't sound like a big deal, except for the fact that the nearest Wal Mart is thirty-five miles away.
  4.  Eating at Jake and Dorothy's - in Stephenville, TX-Home of the legit Fried Chicken Dinner with Waffle Fries- This is one of my favorite places to eat in the entire world. Eating there on a trip back home is a given. A whole wad of us meet up. Their waffle fries are indescribable. They're cut thin and fried crispy. Putting catsup on them would be an insult. The chicken is fried just right. That's all I can say.
  5.  We go to the creek -with its mostly dry bed and small swim hole. The Duffau is a playground for all ages. This is a popular spot for the man card ceremony. Let me explain.unnamed (37)
  6.  An informal man card 'earning' ceremony typically takes place. These kinds of ceremonies are presently pretty frequent at family gatherings because there are six boys who are either teenagers or close to being teenagers, and one younger one watching. In the country, you don't just get your man card (with fear of it getting taken away). You have to earn it. Over and over. Earning a man card usually involves doing something stupid and somewhat painful like jumping in near freezing water just because. (just because you want your man card) Occasionally one of the girls will try to earn a man card too which I find odd, but I was one of those girls on a few occasions (like the time I volunteered to be the first one to have my foot shocked with a Snake Doctor stun gun.) I'm still trying to figure out how to redeem those man card points.

    You can see somebody got his man card -Proud moment
    You can see somebody got his man card -Proud moment
  7.  I can count on a downtown that feels unphased by time. There's one blinking light in Iredell and I'm almost sure it blinks slower than other blinking lights I've ever encountered. People still stop on the road to talk to other people. If the weather's nice at all, they drive around with their windows down. You can count on getting waved at by everybody you pass; even if they don't know who you are.

    Mom and Pop at his shop downtown Iredell.  He's saying hi to somebody who'd stopped in the road to shout "Hey".
    Mom and Pop at his shop downtown Iredell. He's saying hi to somebody who'd stopped in the road to shout "Hey".
  8.    The hum of a mixer in the kitchen -You can bet there will be brownies or cookies; the homemade kind. We like to eat them piping hot. Not just because that's the way they taste better. If you don't get a hot cookie or brownie, you don't get one at all. They disappear before they cool off.
  9.   I'll always hear the creaking of a screen door -I noticed my parents got a new screen door that leads into the backyard. I wonder how long it's been there without my noticing. And I wonder if the new one actually creaks. Even if it doesn't,  I can still hear it along with kids running in and out. It's one of my favorite "home" sounds. It indicates that the real kind of playing is going on. I imagine I'll always hear it
  10.  Going back home is always a reminder for this "just starting to gray" girl-

Change your opinions, keep to your principles;

change your leaves, keep intact your roots.
-Victor Hugo
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