Monthly Archives: April 2014

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I decided to order tamales today after I got my hair trimmed. I was driving down Twin City starving when I thought I'd ask my phone intelligence, Siri, for La Suprema's phone number so that I could call in an order and save myself five minutes since I was on my way. Siri is now on my worst of "lists". Three simple words I spoke into the phone, "La Suprema, Nederland". I kept it short, clear and sweet hoping she could would oblige with a link to the phone number I needed that would provide me with the tamales and the scoop of guacamole I desperately longed for. No such luck.

She responded, "Here's what I found on the web".

I looked down, ready to click on the link that would connect me with Mexican-food bliss, and I see a link to this-

Long Sabrina, Niederlander.

Being the long suffering fool that I am I try again, and again….. thirteen more times. Each time I am as concise with my words as I can possibly be. Still, Siri searched for lawyers (Law Sabrina) and other nonsense, unable to comprehend my deliberate words.

Here are a few of my attempts to be understood and ultimately to be connected to La Suprema, Nederland-

Loss of Prima, Niederlander

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And then we have, Lhasa prima

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Long Deprima,

Long Sabrina,

Wall Cetrina,

Lockstep Prima,

And then my favorite.  Lassick Ramonita Land  (This is a true story)

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I'm often misunderstood.  - If it's not my speech, it's my intention.

Even though I often think out my words before I say them, I can't guarantee that the recipient will know the heartfelt intent of my words. I'm quite sure that there have been times where I have tried to relate to someone, letting them know, I know how they feel, and I probably end up sounding like I'm in competition with them for who has gone through the worse thing. My mom used to say that our family doctor used to respond to our every illness by saying flippantly, "Oh. I've had that before".

If I see you pregnant, it will take everything in me not to tell you how many hours I was in labor with Hayden (32 hours in case you wanted to know.  You didn't, did you?).  You won't understand my need to share those details.  And I'll forget to understand that you're really not interested in knowing "the birth story' of my first born; especially if you're a little anxious about giving birth for the first time.

My children misunderstand me so often. When I have, through prayerful consideration made decisions concerning them, they often think I'm acting on a whim or following some sort of pop parent psychology like the time I blocked off the stairway with red "Do Not Enter" tape for a technology free night. That stunt was actually well-thought out.  They thought I'd lost my mind. And when I do"lose it" because I've just had enough? They don't always understand that either.

Then there are times, I hear one of mine in particular spout with emotion, "You just don't understand". And she's probably right. I can't, no matter how hard I try, fit perfectly in her shoes. I don't know exactly what it's like walking around for a day in them. I don't know how she feels though I've walked many of the same steps as she.

So many times I feel misunderstood and just as many times I fail to understand others. In no manner is this more true than when it comes to moral issues. If you fall on a different side of the fence on your feelings on abortion, our current president or whether or not the apostle Paul was obnoxious, I will try, try, TRY to understand you. But I will not. Probably ever.

I don't even understand myself half the time, for crying out loud!

It may just be, that understanding is overrated.

Or maybe, the grappling that we so often do on our own to understand others and to be understood is futile.

Could it be that understanding doesn't come from Siri, or children whose frontal lobes are yet to be developed, or even from my own heart that tries so hard.

3 Cry out for insight,
and ask for understanding.
4 Search for them as you would for silver;
seek them like hidden treasures.
5 Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord,
and you will gain knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord grants wisdom!
From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.
He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.
8 He guards the paths of the just
and protects those who are faithful to him.

9 Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair….. -Proverbs 2

It may be a long time before our kids understand us; Siri may never. There are things we simply can not understand. That may just be ok. God understands. He offers all the understanding we need.

That's better than tamales from La Suprema or Lassick Ramonita Land.

 

 

 

 

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Can I speak in normal dramatic fashion and say "This past winter lasted FOR.EVER…"? When I say this past winter, I'm not just talking about the earth's season. I'm talking about my soul's winter season. This past winter, with many of you, I experienced loss. It was a icy cold winter. And it clinged to my soul though I tried to rid myself of it. I found myself stuck in a mopey depressed-like state . I was negative; grumpy as a matter of fact. I lacked general motivation and my fervor for serving. But as I mentioned it was winter.

Easter is next week.

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The last couple of days Pandora has been playing the Easter "Jesus songs". This Sunday in church we sang one of my favorites-When I Survey the Wondrous Cross. Such a powerful song. Simply listening to its words I was reminded of the gift of the cross.

Through the cross we receive forgiveness for our sin, forgiveness for our wretchedness.
Through the cross we receive the gift of life
The gift of hope


The gift of a future winterless forever

What could possibly be an appropriate response to the ultimate gift of the cross?

"Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were an offering far too small"......

As the song goes, if I were able to lay all of nature at God's feet it would still be an unmatched gift to the life Christ brings through the cross. And, of course, the whole realm of nature isn't mine to offer.

I don't control the changing winds and seasons.
In fact, there's not a speck of nature under my control. I'm rather glad too. I'm pretty sure things would go badly if I controlled any portion of nature. I'm thinking of Queen Elsa from the new Disney hit Frozen. Like Elsa, the exposure of my ungloved hand would be enough to send all of nature in a tizzy.

No. Thankfully nature isn't mine.

But a thought struck my tender heart while singing.

There is a realm of nature that is my very own. -My human nature. The complicated emotions are mine. And the ill responses are all mine too. My sorrow and my guilt and my tendency to hang on to each, my hope that is too easily dashed when my feet have taken two steps backward, my fears, my fatigue and my restlessness all originate in my realm of nature. Those things are all mine.

And though the whole realm of earth's nature would be too small a gift, God allows us to offer up a nature (our nature), something rather the opposite to a gift. He allows us rid ourselves of our filthy soul by offering it up to the cross. And then again and again, he bids us come and lay down our long wintery mood, our consumed with trouble, consumed with self, nature.

Newness in Nature.

Not only when I became a child of God, but always the cross stands ready for the offering of my humble gift, my nature. Over and Over.

Can't explain it better than these lyrics by Rend Collective-

My future hangs on this
You made preciousness from dust
Please don't stop creating me

Your blood offers the chance
To rewind to innocence
Reborn, perfect as a child

Oh Your cross, it changes everything
There my world begins again with You
Oh Your cross, it's where my hope restarts
A second chance is Heaven's heart

When sin and ugliness
Collide with redemption's kiss
Beauty awakens by romance

Oh Your cross, it changes everything
There my world begins again with You
Oh Your cross, it's where my hope restarts
A second chance is Heaven's heart

Listen to the song here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6RNJ6HDTpU

 

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Several mornings ago Rylie was ready for school early. If you're ready for school early, you get to watch cartoons; that's the deal. Unfortunately Rylie has discovered Pokemon on Netflix. She's been ready early every morning since this finding. Not only is Pokemon terribly annoying, it's been a part of our household for around ten years now. And just in case we missed out on any shows, Netflix has a library of them (There are 17 seasons). -As the song goes...... "Gotta catch 'em all". Hayden was given some Pokemon trading cards when he was about seven. The spirit of the "Pocket Monsters" has possessed our household ever since. Pokemon isn't the only irritating thing in this house. I started a list yesterday. Here are a few things that drive me crazy that I'm somehow sure I'll miss someday.

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Missing cosmetics and other personal items-Hallie is already starting to borrow my scarves, my shoes, and my makeup. That's fine. But she doesn't return most of the items she borrows. And when she does, she doesn't put it back where or how it belongs. For instance, the powder she borrowed was put in the drawer with the lid not screwed on.

Tying shoes- There's no telling how many laces I've tied. Even after you teach your children to tie their shoes, 1. They usually don't. (They're completely content to walk round hazardously with laces flopping). 2. They tie their shoes, but in a way that loose loops dangle so that the laces still present a tripping hazard. They've needed me for years to keep them from falling. I'm already starting to realize that my days from preventing falls are waning.

Stacks of worksheets- I've disposed of a tree's worth of papers; papers with circled nouns and words scrawled in ABC order, papers with long division, and papers with red "x's". Those papers, to an extent, have been my guide. They tell how me how my kids are faring.  And I like to know that. They show me what they're learning. I'm afraid there will be a time when reports are fewer and farther between.

Awkward selfies- I'm not fond of selfies. I've yet to see an attractive selfie. They're taken from an awkward position and make people do a weird arching thing with their eyebrows. However those selfies are taken in such close range that they preserve funny images I'm almost sure I'm going to miss.

Mismatched socks

Are we there yet? 

Empty milk jugs in the fridge- And Hayden's Captain Caveman yell when he opens the fridge to find there's no milk;  only the empty jug he left there.

Trimming fingernails on chubby fingers-A perfect invitation to hold their little hands. I'm on my last set of hands.

Hurried Sunday mornings

Morning hair fixing-Brushing thick heads of hair. We've all blessed heads of hair in the Burden family. It's usually a long ordeal with squealing but it's one of the few tasks done close enough to catch their kid scent and I'm usually in the position to steal a quick peck on the cheek (whether they like it or not).

Our intercom system (when shouting fails) -The kids' bedrooms are upstairs. The girls still usually respond to my shouting their names. Hayden though, typically has me drowned out by earphones. But I've found that pounding on the wall works. He must feel some sort of vibration that lets him know I need to see him. He doesn't always answer his phone. Other times he doesn't know where his phone is. But when he's home in his room, pounding on the wall always brings him to me.

Heavy feet bounding down the stairs- Another sign they're home

Doctor appointments We really enjoy the doctors we have in this area. But like most doctor appointments, we find ourselves waiting and waiting to see the doctor. It's time spent together. I wonder how many times I've read "Green Eggs and Ham" through years of appointments with three kids?

Being leaned on during church- Hayden was the worst. Hallie, our feral cat-natured kid, seldom seeks physical affection. For Rylie, "big church" experience starts next year. I'm going to let her lean on me. And I'm going to try my darndest not to say a word. Church members told me to enjoy it when they'd see Hayden with his arm around me, leaning over.  I so appreciate their reminder to enjoy it.  Sadly, the good advice was at the end of the "Hayden Leaning Era".

Writing lunch notes

Ruts on the edge of the yard- We'll never have a nicely manicured yard, but our yard is made yet less unattractive by ruts on the yard's edge. The ruts are signature of a certain teenager's daily bad parking. Someday the grass will erase them.

Buying the mile long list of school supplies

Outrageous Christmas lists-The list of crazy requests have included a gold tooth, a Life Alert necklace and a taxi cab, to mention a few. I suspect there will be days soon when they don't need a thing from me.

Messy rooms

Toys left in the backyard

Wiggly teeth

....And the list goes on

I can hear Trace Adkins crooning:

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents…. Psalm 127:3 (The Message)

 

What messy memories are you thankful for?