Tag Archives: when God’s will is scary

6 Comments

Jason asked me about two weeks ago to do a Christmas-themed Children's Message for the Sunday morning service. I despise being in front of large groups of people.  Microphones? They're a tool of Satan.  (Kidding.  But how else to mention the degree to which I despise them).

When Jason asked me to do the message, I thought I said no....  He thought I said yes.

Another week and a half went by. And then Friday, two days before "the message" was supposed to take place, Jason brought it up again in the context of my doing it.   Seized with terror, I told him that I hadn't agreed to do it.  He calmly said he'd take care of it, being the guy that he is, always "taking care".  And then being the guilt-driven person I am, I relented and agreed to do it.

I say guilt made me do it, and that was probably part of it.  I know Jason has a mile-high list of things to do this month and I'd be darned if I added another thing to his list.  But it was more than that.  When Jason asked me to do the message I got an all-too-familiar feeling; the one I get when I know I'm supposed to do something and I DON'T WANT TO DO IT!!!

obey

When Hallie was about two when I'd tell her to do something and she'd say "No thank you", like I'd simply suggested it rather than said "Get your shoes".

My reply to her polite refusal was always, "Yes thank you".

The thing is Jason asked me to do the message but I felt in my spirit that God was telling me to do it.  I get the feeling God doesn't make suggestions.  He doesn't say "I'm just throwing this out there.....you might want to......"

Nope.  When God puts something on our heart to do, he sees our response as either obedient or disobedient.

It makes me think of how disobedient I am on a daily basis.

I'm glad I at least reluctantly obeyed. I have to tell you though, obedience and its surrounding story can be funny.  When I obey, I expect to be made much of.  I'd really like for God to honor my willingness (to do what he says).  And I'd like to be honored in the way that I so choose.

I agreed to do the message, but secretly, I had a list of things I expected to receive in return.  I thought He owed me:

First of all I expected to hear a voice telling me exactly what to say Sunday morning.  I wanted a smashing message that would make known the mystery of Christmas.  I switched what I was going to say numerous times and finally settled on something. And I had to practice what I was going to say over and over....and over. Frankly, now that it's over, I have no idea what I said besides saying the word "prepare".....a lot.

I wanted a good hair day the day of the message.  That was apparently too much to ask.

I wanted a smooth Sunday morning.  You'd want to do that for your servant, right?  Not dealing with a kid who went back to sleep after you'd gotten them out of bed to get ready.  Nobody trying to wear a warm-up top to church.  And especially, I did not anticipate I'd have to deal with a kid that had an asthma/anxiety episode while she was on stage singing with the choir, right before I got up to give the message. (Coincidentally, that was the same kid who miraculously had the breath to interrupt me during my message to insist that I had skipped a page in a story I was reading)

I also prayed for, and expected, that I wouldn't be nervous.  Instead stress-sweat poured from one of my armpits.  What does that even mean?

I'll tell you what it all means.

We're supposed to obey.  No strings attached.  No list of demands.

-And maybe scariest of all not knowing what will come of our decision to do what he says.

The "obedient ones" in the Bible have tremendous stories- Gideon, Moses, Daniel, and one of my favorites, Ruth. We like to know that our saying yes has a favorable outcome.

That's not always the case.  Obedience is usually seriously inconvenient.  It's uncomfortable.  Often times it brings about real hardship. Sometimes our obedience will be misunderstood or cause us to be rejected.  The disciples' obedience lead to their death.

Still we ought to say yes

Because

Obedience brings God glory

And

Sometimes God works THROUGH us when we obey

-He's always working IN us

Teaching us.

Molding us. ( Your hair was not the important thing this morning child)

Growing us. (See? With me, all things are possible).

Anne Sullivan was the teacher and companion of Helen Keller.  She penned these words.

I have thought about it a great deal, and the more I think, the more certain I am that obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love too, enter the mind of a child.

Look for another guest blog tomorrow that will give great perspective to your Christmas.  You can still send your guest blog to

kristiburden@gmail.com