To My Average Daughter

We crowded around the table this morning. My husband Jason gifted us with West kolaches last night as he got back from the Baptist convention. As you can imagine, we were all smiles for breakfast. 

Always fond of a bit of trivia, Hallie, our middle, posed the question 

"What is the average shoe size for women?"

"Seven", I guessed. 

"No.  It's actually size eight to nine", she told us. 

Our youngest, Rylie,  gave a triumphant fist pump toward heaven. 

"Yes! I'm average!", she shouted. 

Like I do dozens of times weekly, I internally shook my head at my kid. She wants to be average. 

She's only eleven, but her foot is two sizes larger than both my fifteen year old's and mine. Even though she was thrilled to be growing at an unreal rate six months ago, she's now under the impression that her size (which could be considered above average) is a terrible thing.  The age of around "eleven" (or maybe it's middle school) teaches that being average is safe. Blending in is best. 

Years ago, when I started my "mom journey" I imagined in my head what my "good kids" would be like. They would be an equal measure of intelligent kind and beautiful; no characteristic out shining another, no characteristic lacking. 

In parenting, as time goes on, I treasure each of my kid's uniqueness. One has a distinct ability to make me laugh, even when I don't want to.   Another has a fierce strength, that I both admire and even try to emulate. My other kid has a gift for making me (and others she comes into contact with) feel most special. They each have their weaknesses too; a place where God's grace teaches them and carries them through. 

I'm grateful that God gave me more than I asked when he created them with dynamic personalities and gifts. I'm thankful he has used them to teach me things I need to be reminded about myself. 

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Where did my kids ever get the idea that they were meant to be so-so?  (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.)

I live to be average; to achieve "all things woman" at a mediocre level even though there's knowledge deep within me that I was created for more. Too often I teach (and model for my children) that life is lived according to a common blueprint the world has created. 

Look like this. 

Be like this...

We're each created to be one of a kind. 

It's up to us to identify how we've been uniquely equipped.  Has God given you a voice that you're afraid to use, a platform that you're too busy to serve? 

 May God grant you the courage to desert your goal of being like "the next girl" making space for the special thing God is calling you to do whether it's to support your teenager who's in a particularly difficult rut, standing up for a cause that's on your heart or serving your lonely neighbor using that great gift of relating that God has given you. 

You're not just an average daughter. 


It's also our job to encourage our children in those areas which God has gifted them. Create opportunity for them to use their gifts. 

1 Peter 4:10-11 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.

Come out of hiding.  Let go of that effort you've been making to blend in. Put down those things you've been made to think you have to do.  You have your own "not-so-average" God-given glass slipper. And it fits. Find it and wear it to God's glory. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *