Tag Archives: girlies

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We make mistakes; some are big ones- the kind that stop you in your tracks.  Parenting missteps are unavoidable.  There is no perfect parenting.  The success of parenting, I'm learning (painfully slow I might add), is more about our response to our parenting missteps.

My missteps range from not providing clean matching socks to allowing my children unnecessary exposure to the ungodly to downright being a fire-breathing dragon. The mistakes are varied and great in number, but my response is typically one of the following.

1. Groan in guilt  I focus on how I've messed up "this time", but I also replay each and every past parenting failure over and over....and over.

2. Dissolve into despair  I consider how I might just have ruined the forever happiness of my children.  I lament at how I've led them on a path leading to anything but a bright or right future.

3. Ignore... Some of my mistakes seem too hard to fix.  They're too daunting to even think about.........  So I don't.

4.* Fix one misstep with another I can't count the dollars and time spent trying to pay for my mistakes.  An apology given or an ice cream date as an offering to my mess-up is fine.   However it's not a fix on its own; especially if it's accompanied by #1, #2 or #3.

These are unhealthy responses rather than a course of action.  By only wallowing in guilt and despair, by remaining in purposed oblivion, NOTHING WILL CHANGE.  It's as if I'm staying right where I've fallen.  My smart husband and I recently gave myself a pep talk.  I was reminded that the greatest guiding force in my parenting will be prayer.  Three other things I'm determined to remember?

Wallowing is doing nothing.

It's not too late to do what I can do today.

It's too early to worry about tomorrow.

Parent shoes are big shoes to fill.  Thankfully we have a God that fills the spaces and forgives our falls.

What is your default response to a misstep?

kristiburden@gmail.com

 

 

 

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For those of you who wonder how God's Girlies got started, I could tell you that it started on impulse, but we know God better than that.

  Hallie turned eleven in March.  I turned into a bigger worrier having come to a point that I didn't have an answer to every question. Besides she doesn't always want to hear what I have to say right now.  This happened with Hayden too, but I was ok with not understanding some things-boy related and relied heavily on Jason.

Relying and relating are necessary especially during transforming times.  Hallie is changing and maturing, but it's a transforming time for moms too.  I began to yearn for guidance and friendship. I wanted together-time for Hallie and myself.  I wanted a place for community amongst other moms and other girls.  Hallie needs to know that other girls experience insecurity and unkind treatment.  She needs to know there other moms that have high moral standards for their girls. As I talked with other moms I knew I wasn't alone.

  We decided to have a monthly gathering of preteen girls and moms and grandmas.  Other ladies have joined us (moms of boys and college and high school age girls).  My heart smiles with joy as we have a growing community of girls ages 6 to ?

Out of this community has sprung an online community too.  Girls from other US states as well as Europe and Canada have joined us.  We are moms, daughters, grandmas, sisters and friends with a common father; a father who I believe smiles as we come together in his name.

Email your post or questions to kristiburden@gmail.com