Tag Archives: sibling rivalry


Hey it's Mom.

I saw you two sitting  beside each other last night. Hallie, you were on the couch. And Rylie you were right beside her as you leaned over while the two of you looked at her phone whispering about something you both found comical.

I heard you laugh...together. Not one of you laughing at the other.

You girls even took a selfie...the both of you...without being asked.

The crazy part (as if this wasn't already crazy enough) is that one of you had company, so I know you weren't just interacting positively out of boredom.

I've watched you through the years doing normal sister things. I've observed, countless times, one of you hog the bathroom and then exit proudly, your towel piled on top of your head, while your junk remained; heaped on her side of the sink and spilling on to the floor. I've listened to the other of you beat self-righteously on the door with zero grace demanding to be let in ten minutes before her exit.

I've watched you fight over a possession that would typically be claimed except that I was asking the rightful owner to pick it up and put it where it belonged, in which case you fought, both claiming (pointing the figurative finger) that it was hers.

Car trips haven't been too bad for years. But only because you each take an entire bench seat. You drown out the world with your pillow and your headphones; blasting the playlist you so carefully created before we left the house. You each forget the other is in the car until it's time to stop for a restroom break.

Sure you've taken up for each other a time or two when someone outside our family has criticized or mistreated your sister. That's what siblings do. They hold outsiders to a higher standard than they hold themselves. How dare anybody (besides me) treat her that way?

Was it the ice cream? Did yesterday's impulsive purchase of the Bluebell flavor The Great Divide have some sort of counter-cataclysmic effect that turned you into foreign characters...friends?

I can't be sure, but you give me hope.  I fully expect to hear arguing later, over whether or not the YouTube video one of you is playing loudly in the kitchen is annoying. I'll be patient and let you work it out.  I know from my own experience that the process from sister, to friend, to best friend is a long one.

I'll remember that one of the ingredients to such a friendship is a number of failed attempts. I'll know that the disappointments and heartbreaks that will come from outside (and probably in) our family will serve in helping you to better care for one another (as has already happened a few times).

Until then I've stolen this selfie off your Instagram account to remind me that it just might happen. While I wait I'll think about my own sisters, my best friends. I'll be thankful that we got it right, even if it took a little while.

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Hayden and Hallie are getting along.  It's horrible.  Usually they antagonize each other then go back to their separate lives, watching TV or talking to friends.  When they're not getting along and need intervention I come on the scene , in control, and appropriately put them in their place.

Jason bought tools this weekend so that Hayden could do much-needed yard work.  Hayden is weeding the flower beds and getting rid of old mulch.  He talked to Hallie about being his assistant.  She gladly agreed.  They started working together yesterday.

This morning as they came in for a quick water break I made a contentious comment to Hayden.  I wasn't surprised when Hayden disagreed, but the look I got from Hallie......  She looked at me in disapproval, silently saying "Don't look at me, I'm with him".  This is the first time this has ever happened.  I am still in disbelief.  When Hayden left the room, Hallie plead his cause. They're ganging up on me.

In the midst of this turmoil, my sister texted me and asked how things were going.  I told her how terrible my morning had been and that I thought might rather have Hayden and Hallie fighting.  When they stand in unison I don't hold the same sway as when it's me and one of them. Today I felt defeated and without influence.

I wonder what influence we as Christians have in the world when we're divided. I have observed certain groups lately in our nation who have rallied together under common purpose.  Even when the purpose is wrong, they have influence. Those around them stop and take notice.  As Christians we hold a common purpose for good.  We have a mission to share the love of Jesus even to those who hold nothing but contempt for us. They might rather us fight.  We are misguided to think they will listen when they don't  see us loving each other. It just might make a difference if we come together; in work and in love. Today I encountered something new and quite astounding-

I found what can be accomplished when brother and sister work together.

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